Hotties, we have outlaws in the house. I repeat, there are outlaws in the building! Outlaw Soaps, that is! The Rhinestone Housewife is super pleased to present our newest friend and vendor, Outlaw Soaps. The folks at Outlaw have created some really amazing products, all while cultivating an irreverent sense of humor and love of all things western. With products from Blazing Saddles soap to Whiskey Business lip balm, there’s something for everyone. And yes, I used my boots and a bottle of rose tequila as the background. Enjoy!
Bacon Bar Soap-OMFG IT’S BACON SOAP. It looks like bacon and it smells like bacon, but it tastes nothing like bacon and is quite cleansing! Who doesn’t love BACON?!! Even your dogs will be delighted to get a bath in this realistic-smelling meaty slab o’ soap (the slice marks are just imprints… it’s one solid bar)!
Blazing Saddles-What does an Outlaw smell like? In short, an Outlaw smells like a fucking American hero.
In long, an Outlaw smells like leather, sandalwood, gunpowder, sage, two kinds of campfire (the nighttime campfire and the daybreak campfire), and a little dirt. An Outlaw smells like the sexiest goddamn thing you can imagine, and then about 12 times sexier than that.
Coffee Soap-After your first cup of coffee, why not step into the shower for a second? This soap smells like sweetened black coffee… absolutely delightful.
Hair Of The Dog Soap-Whiskey Soap as the absolute best version of itself: Mixed with coffee. What a fricken’ amazing way to shower your morning to a brilliant start.
Laundry On The Line Soap-A dusty breeze floats through your backyard… it’s the end of July and school feels like a thousand years away. The blackberries are so ripe they fell off into your hands as you pulled them from the vines, and now you’re cradling about a pound of them in the bottom of your light blue t-shirt. Your mom is outside putting up the laundry and she tells you the blackberries are going to stain your favorite shirt, but you don’t care.
Because it’s the middle of Summer.
You sit on the grass and let the air of the day swirl around you, picking up the laundry, the grass, and those delicious, delicious blackberries.
Orange Grove Soap-Have you driven past orange orchards in Southern California? There’s no smell quite like it in the world… but we’ve really tried to re-create it as best we can here in this orange grove soap.
A swirl of bright orange and leafy green is the perfect color combination for orange and grass with a whiff of ginger on the breeze. It’s everything you would expect from California oranges.
Every time you shower, you’ll have the fresh, warm California breezes on your face. It’s a hell of a way to start your day.
Pine Mountain Soap-This soap smells like Summer in Yosemite. It’s pine with just a whiff of campfire smoke. We engineered the scent to recreate your favorite summer camp memories. Wouldn’t you like to get back to the trail?
Unicorn Bacon Bar Soap-I SAID WHAT?!?!?!?
HECK YES, I SAID “UNICORN BACON.”
What does unicorn bacon look like? It looks like EVERYTHING MAGIC AND IMAGINARY IN THE WORLD: Rainbows! Happiness! Glitter! Personal fulfillment!
What does it smell like? It smells exactly like you’d expect: Cotton candy! Sherbet! Fruitiliciousness!
This special Unicorn Bacon is 100% soap. It has glitter on the top and is carved to look just like bacon.
People might not think they should use it but OH YES YOU TOTALLY SHOULD! It’s fantastic soap. So even though yes, it IS MAGICAL AND AMAZING, it’s also FRICKEN’ FANTASTIC SOAP, made with high quality ingredients like avocado oil, olive oil, coconut oil, and castor oil. You’ll feel so smooth and moisturized once you’ve showered with UNICORN FRICKEN’ BACON!
Unicorn Poop Soap-Unicorn poop is HEWN FROM SOLID RAINBOWS and AN ASTONISHING ARRAY OF DELIGHTFUL SCENTS to bring glee to even the most soap-averse humans!
Upon sniffing the Unicorn Poop soap, 100% of testers respond with a variation of ‘Can I eat this? Are you sure I can’t eat this?’ and then ‘Can I lick it, at least?’
Whiskey Business Lip Balm-Just think of the lasting impression you’ll leave on anyone who kisses you: Smooth, soft, supple lips with a whiskey kick?
HUBBA HUBBA WANNA GET ME SOME OF DAT!
I don’t even know what else to say that isn’t in the title. I mean, it really markets itself. Because it’s
in LIP BALM
Can it get better? No, probably not.
EXCEPT THAT IT DOES, because it’s not just any lip balm, it’s THE FINEST GODDAMN LIP BALM YOU’LL EVER PUT ON YOUR SMACKERS.